Friday, April 27, 2012

Celebrities and our pathetic fascination.

OK, so I'm watching How I Met Your Mother right now and currently thinking that Neil Patrick Harris, or NPH as he called himself in Harold and Kumar (haha), is basically a comedic genious.  He's halarious.  I'd love to meet him.  Along with my new celebrity obsession Guiliana Rancic.  I've been watching Guiliana and Bill lately and I have fallen in love with her and her husband Bill.  He will be my second husband.  You'll see.  And one day her and I will be BFFs.  But the whole point of this is that I started thinking about all the cool people my mom has gotten to meet through her job and how I'm a teensy bit jealous of her for that-it's just not fair!!  She works for a TV show called Twin Cities Live.  It's a tv show in the Twin Cities (OBVIOUSLY) about all things food, fun and fashion.  Basic general human interest.  They have segments about all kinds of things, with many different celebrity guests on the show.  Each time there is a celebrity guest my mom gets to meet them and take a picture with them.  Must be rough huh?  Here's a small snippet of a list of the celebrities she has met over the last couple years:  Bethanny Frankel, Marie Osmond, Hulk Hogan, Plain White T band, Vicki Gunvalson, Louie Anderson, Uncle Kracker, Tom Arnold, Cheryl Tiegs, Harmon Killebrew, Gretchen Rossi, Tim Gunn (love him), couple of guys from the Deadliest Catch, Nigel Barker, Topher Grace, Steve-O, Ross Matthews (gay guy on Chelsea Lately-love him too-weird, I just love the gay funny guys).  Like I said, must be rough huh?  (I mean, I dont know what it is about our weird fascination with famous people but let me fascinate ok?!)  I mean, I wouldn't pay $100 to go see Pauly D dj like my girlfriends did, that's just crazy, and stupid.  But to meet some of these people for free like my mom gets to WOULD be pretty sweet.  Try and tell me you wouldn't be intrigued.  If you say you wouldn't be, you're lying, I know you are. 

The funniest obsessions with celebrities are child obsessions.  My two girls, 5 and 8, are obsessed with, you guessed it, Justin Bieber.  And Selena Gomez.  And Victoria Justice.  And who could forget Big Time Rush!!!  To all of you out there that have no idea who some or any of these people are, turn on the Disney Channel for 5 minutes.  Their faces are all over!  They are the biggest child actors out there right now and even I have a slight obsession with Selena Gomez.  She's halarious.  And btw, she's dating Justin Bieber, in case you were living under a rock and didn't know that already.  It's so funny tho, to see my girls talk about their current celebrity crush/obsession.  Take Justin Bieber for instance (or The Biebs as we hip folk call him). Any time my 5 year old sees his face in a magazine she has to yell out "Justin Bieber!" as if she were actually meeting him in person.  And she's equally enthusiastic each time she sees his face.  It's pretty entertaining. 

Why do we find famous people so interesting just because they're, well, famous (and super dee duper rich)?  They don't have super powers or anything and it's not like they give a shit about any of us...except for when they win awards, then they HAVE to "thank their fans."  I just don't get it, and I'll admit it, I take part in idolizing a celebrity I've never met just because their super pretty.  Doesn't mean I understand it any better.  It's just plain weird, and frankly, a little sad.  Don't ya think? 

But the really sad part is when there are breaking news stories about how Kim Kardashian died her hair (gasp!) light brown, or how Lindsey Lohan got arresteds-again, but yet when Denzel Washington visits an army camp and whips out a check on the spot for however many hundred thousand dollars it takes to build another housing unit for the men who serve our country there isn't so much as a small side article in the next issue of Us Weekly or OK! magazine, or a tweet or post or small segment on E! news commemorating him for his unbelievably generous unselfish act.  What, that's not juicy enough news?  Don't you think it would do our country some good to have these kinds of stories more in the fore front rather than stories about the many different celebrities who have been arrested for DWI, or who partied at which popular nightclub in LA last night?  Does anyone else think we're pathetic for caring so much about these celebrity stories?  It's ok, you can admit you think it's pathetic too but still be interested in these stories.  I am. 

I should probably get back to watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians...JUST KIDDING!  That's not even funny, the people that actually like the Kardashians are the most pathetic of them all.  Can you say "over exposed"?  Yugh! 

Thanks for stopping in and reading this most interesting of posts!  Glad I could entertain you for a few short minutes.  There goes 5 minutes of your life you'll never get back.

xoxo,
Jess

This weekend...

It's Friday!!!  This weekend should be a good one for me and the fam (besides the weather, uh 46 for a high Saturday, chance of rain/snow mix in the morning-no thank you).  We got my neice's 6th bday party tomorrow, which happens to be planned at the dam.  Great, freezing weather AND we'll be next to the water...should be fun, NOT!  Then my nephew's first baseball game that evening.  After that my husband and I planned a bon fire with the kids and our dads.  Hopefully it's warm enough around the fire, otherwise we'll have to move that party inside!  I mean what the heck, it was 80, yes eighty, degrees in March, now we're back down to 46?  Thank you Minnesnowta.  Hate this place.

Anywhooo....Me and the hubs had our first softball game of the season last night.  So fun!  We won too, which is awesome and will probably be the only win of the season.  I mean, it's beer league so the team isn't that competative and they like to "hydrate" themselves before the game gets started, but it seems every other team in the league takes the games just-a-tad more seriously than we do!  Who gives a hoot!  It's a sport and we're up and moving and getting out of the house so that's all that we really care about...plus, we're almost thirty so we can't push ourselves too hard, right? (insert winky face here).  I mean, if the other teams are actually proud of themselves for beating our team that's just sad.  Ha!  No im kidding, we're not that bad, but we're just in it for the fun and some time to get out with some friends during the week and maybe sneak in a couple beers. 

My sister's good friends had their baby yesterday so I'm going to try my hardest to get up to the hospital tonight to say hi and see the new addition.  I can't help but keep think about how exciting it's going to be when the day comes that I find out that I'm pregnant again!  I can't wait to have a baby with the hubby, definetely something that will help pull our mixed family together more tightly.  I want it so bad I have dreams about it.  One day....

Until next time fellow followers...

Hope your weekend is as awesome and crazy wild as mine will be (wink wink)!

xoxo,
Jess



Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Hollywood is not REAL beauty, WE are!!!

I have not posted in way too long, and for that, I apologize!  It isn't until I start doing something like this, that I realize how little time I have for myself (or how bad my laptop at home is-so bad I can't even use it to get online to update my blog! I need a new one desparately)!  Alas, I'm afraid this is not a top priority for me or my husband- he would MUCH rather buy a new tempur-pedic bed and is feverishly working/hustling his way towards that.  I, on the other hand would like to work on plain old, boring paying off debt. You see, my husband happens to be an expert hustler and can wheel and deal his way from owning a ten speed bike all the way to owning a 2001 Monte Carlo.  Which is what he owns now.  And that's kind of how he got it.  Not really.  But basically.  But he is trying to hustle his way to a new bed for us right now.  So that's his main goal right now.  Oh, my knight in shining - blue jeans.

Anyways...  So something has been weighing heavily on my mind that I think deserves a bit of attention and discussion...The relentless, tasteless and shameless photoshopping and cropping of the ever beautiful celebrity/model in magazines and online images.  I mean, seriously.  This is just getting out of hand.  As if celebrities aren't made pretty enough with hours worth of makeup and hair done on them before a photo shoot with designer clothes and stylists to boot, the magazines find reason to photoshop, edit, crop, do anything they can to make that person look perfect.  Really?  Is it really that bad to show them with a wrinkle?  So what if their waist isn't 23 inches around?  So what if they don't have chicken legs?  And forget about them letting something like a little cellulite get past their keenly trained perfecting eyes.  God. Forbid.  You know what?  I WANT to see a little cellulite on one of these models/actresses!  I mean, I don't even know if these people are even what they look like in their pictures!  For all I know, with all this photoshopping going on these people could be down right nasty in person.  Before you know it people are going to be going to plastic surgeons asking to be sliced and diced so that their body can look like it did when they were 12 again!  This is just getting out of hand.

Nobody living a normal life has thighs the same circumfrence as their calves.  And why should someone feel the need to go on one of those "cleanses"drinking nothing but juiced grass for a week?  You know what I wanna know?  How many calories do these models eat a day?  For real.  In order to maintain those child sized waists there's no way they can be on a healthy diet.  And when a celebrity who is on a normal diet is photographed for a magazine, can we NOT photoshop them to make them smaller than they really are?  That's just stupid.  Why create unrealistic ideals to what a woman "should" look like in order to be considered beautiful?  Are ya with me ladies? 




This obsession we have with celebrity is so rediculous (totally not saying I don't get suckered into reality tv the way the rest of the world does-because God knows I love me some Real Housewives), but the way we idolize celebrities and models because of their beauty is so not healthy for our mentality.  Do they really look THAT bad in their before pictures???  Hell to the no.  So please, don't think twice about eating that fry because Britney Spears looked so good on her cd cover or because that model looked so good in that magazine.  Those pics aren't even legit.  You're a real person with a real life and a REAL body.  Nobody looks that perfect.  Hollywood should not define beauty, real life women should.

Can I get an Amen?

Thank you and good night!
xoxo,
Jess

Thursday, April 12, 2012

A Little of This and That

Well, I brought Ace to the groomers last weekend for his first time, and boy!  Was that an ordeal for the groomer!  She took a full 3 hours to get a 7 pound puppy done!  He REALLY didn't enjoy it!  But he looks adorable!  However, the rest of the weekend and the last few days he has been acting weird, and whining ALL THE TIME.  I brought him into the vet to get him looked at and he seemed to think Ace wrenched his back while squirming at the groomers so he gave him some pills for the pain.  What a world of difference!  My little guy is back to normal! 

Easter was so great this year and my little girl looked so big compared to all her younger cousins!  It's always so nice to see the whole family. 

The night before Easter my little one was with her dad for his family's Easter, so me and Andy and a couple friends went out for a couple drinks...and a couple turned into a few, and a few turned into too many.  We were up a little too late for it being the night before Easter.  We sure took advantage of having no kids for one night and had so much fun!  It doesn't happen very often that we actually get to go out with our friends so it was a good night! 

It's Thursday afternoon and I am taking tomorrow off to for a cleaning day at home.  Our house has gotten to the point (again) where it looks like a tornado has blown through it.  So it will be nice to give it a good pickin' up. 

My hubby will be out of town this weekend.  Thinking of seeing if my mother would like to babysit one so I can have a night to myself.  I was thinking about trying to go out with some girlfriends again, but then I thought that a night alone would do me good.  Seriously, I treasure my alone time.  It just never happens. 

I'm reading a new book called "You Don't Sweat Much For a Fat Girl" With the caption on the cover: Observations on life from the shallow end of the pool.  It's by Celia Rivenbark.  She writes just like I do, a style that I have come to love in myself and with anyone else I know that writes this way.  Basically whatever comes to her mind, the way she says it is the way she writes it.  Her book is just a collection of short stories from her life or opinions she has or things she's heard.  It's halarious so far.  Her chapters have witty titles such as "Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey" "Twitter Woes: I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character", "Kiosk Bee-otch Makes Mall Trip Treacherous", "Taking The Class Out Of Yoga", and so on and so forth...I'm on page 40 and already in love with the book.  This woman is halarious.  I highly recommend for a light read. 

One day I plan on writing a book like this.  One day...  I also plan on making myself rich.  Maybe that will be the way...  Until then we'll just take it one day at a time and live paycheck to paycheck, not quite Low Class, not quite Middle Class.  We are the Forgotten Class.  The ones who aren't quite making enough to live comfortably from paycheck to paycheck, but make JUST ENOUGH to somehow get by and not qualify for any kind of assistance- like free lunches for our kids at school or reduced rates at public daycares.  It is what it is.

I'm taking off...Take care.

xoxo,
Jess 

Friday, April 6, 2012

What's on my mind...

On my mind:

1.  Tonight I am dragging my husband with me to go to the re-release of Titanic in 3D!!!  I am soooo excited! 

2.  I'm also pretty excited about tomorrow-Ace, my shihtzu/poodle puppy, has an appt at the vet to get all caught up on his shots and an appt at the groomers.  I can't wait to get him all buzzed!  His hair is getting so long and he stinks!  (Our tub has been out of commission because of the bathroom remodel so we haven't been able to give him a bath in a couple weeks!)  I'm going to have them buzz him all over but leave his little goatee (hehe) so he can still be the badass that he is ;)

3.  Tomorrow night after all my errands and everything I'm finally able to have a couple drinks with one of my best girlfriends (who I actually met through my husband because she is one of HIS best friends-weird, I know, but it somehow works).  I miss her so it will be nice to catch up!

4.  This weekend will be the first weekend in a long time that I won't have Isabelle (until Sunday at least) and it feels weird.

5.  We got our tax return back!!!  wooo hoo!!!  It feels good to be able to pay our bills without struggling to do so or stretching our bank account so thin for once!

6.  Its Easter this Sunday and I can't wait to see my family.

7.  I spent $50 on easter candy and a couple little toys for Isabelle-and if my husband knew that he would KILL ME.

8.   Our bathroom remodel is ALMOST complete and I am getting so anxious for that project to be over.  And it looks SO much better than it did before!  Hopefully I'll be able to post pics soon!

9.  Once again, I am writing this post while at work...it's 4:00 on a Friday, can you blame me?!

10.  Just got my hair highlighted and trimmed yesterday (finally!) and I'm loving it!  I did a full foil of bleach highlights and it turned out great!  I have naturally blonde hair, but over the years it has turned to more of a dishwater blonde.  I like being a bright blonde, it's what I'm used to.  But please, dont peg me for one of those overly tanned, fake nails, extreme make up, cleavage baring, take pictures of myself all the time hussies...I'm not that at all.  I don't tan, the last time my nails were fake was for my wedding which was last August, and I don't wear a lot of make up. 

11.  I need to get my eyebrows done...ew, they look gross.

Well, I suppose that will do it for this edition of pointless ramblings!  Thanks for tuning in folks!  Until next time...

xoxo,
Jess